Where I've Been....

Hey y'all...I just wanted to pop in and say hi to everyone and to let you know where I have been these past few weeks (for those who are keeping up with things on here).  

I haven't been doing much cooking lately...obviously. If you are on this blog's Facebook Page, then you know that I recently announced that I was taking a "hiatus" due to health issues.  

I have been debating on whether or not to go public with this information because once I open the door...then there is no way of turning back and closing it.

But I do know that I have some loyal readers out there, and I felt like I had to at least explain what has been going on lately.  I couldn't just leave y'all in the dust like that and leave you wondering what was the reason for my absence.

Well....here it goes.....

I may or may not have breast cancer.  There.  I've said it.  

This all actually started before the holidays (December of 2011).  I went in for a diagnostic mammogram Christmas week for some pain, swelling, and irritability that I was having.  Up until that point, the docs thought all I had was a breast infection and loaded me up on antibiotics.  Well...the antibiotics didn't work...which led to the mammogram.

Everything on the mammogram came back fine....except for one abnormal part around my breast tissue.  The doctor suggested that I see a breast specialist for a biopsy on the tissue...but I told them that I needed to wait because I wanted to take the time to enjoy the holidays with my family.  

The holidays came and went....and after New Year's...I scheduled an appointment with one of the breast care doctor's here in town.  My biopsy was scheduled for this Monday, however, it had to be postponed due to an abscess that they found under my breast.  The doctor told me that before he even preforms a biopsy that the abscess had to be taking care of first.

Which leads me to this week.  The abscess is on it's way to healing and I have to go back in to the breast specialist this coming Monday to see where we stand with the biopsy.  The doctor will then re-evaluate me to see what course of action needs to be taken in terms of extracting the breast tissue (either through surgery or a normal biopsy in the office).  

As some of you know, my mother had breast cancer twice back in 2002...so I'm hoping this isn't a case of history repeating itself...but it just may be.

I won't know for sure whether or not I have it until the end of next week.

The kind of cancer the doctor is talking about is not the one you hear all the time in the news.  It is not the one where you find the lump in your breast and you have to go get it checked out.  The one he is concerned about is what they call, "inflammatory breast cancer."  Which deals with the breast tissue. 

Husband Man has been a wonderful help and has been with me every step of the way so far.  I know this is going to sound crazy, but I believe this experience has bought us even closer together as a couple.  There is a new respect that we have for each other that I cannot even put into words. 

I have not told my children yet and don't plan on it unless a diagnosis is made.  Plenty of tears have been shed  so far and I have a feeling more will come as my family and I wait patiently for the results of my biopsy.  I am trying to have a positive outlook on things as best I can, however, I'm also preparing myself for the worst.  

I have had my share of people tell me that I shouldn't worry about things right now at this point because I haven't even been diagnosed with anything yet...and that worrying isn't going to get me anywhere.  Well, they may be right about that, however, I am a worry-wart by nature...and knowing that my life is at stake here is not something that I think I can just 'ignore' and not think about.  When you are in a room with a doctor who is repeating the words 'possibility of cancer' to you....of course you are going to worry.  You are going to cry.  You are going to get emotional.  

I wish I could be like everyone else and pretend that it isn't bothering me, but I've never been good at pretending and I do not plan to start now.  

I just wanted y'all to know that I have not dropped off the face of the earth.  I am still here.  Just in the background.  

I have not had the inspiration to cook anything new, nor to even eat for that matter.  And since my abscess is healing, Husband Man has been doing all of the cooking.

It is with great hope that my biopsy will come back clean and I can start this new year out with a fresh start...but we will see.  

I love all of you very dearly and I promise to keep everyone informed and updated.........